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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238507">The Candle Dance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch'>silasfinch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Devotion, F/F, Falling In Love, Gen, Headcanon, High Fantasy, Pining, Political Alliances, Reunions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:41:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Expands of the scenes featuring Sabran and Ead.<br/>My favourite moments and details from the book.<br/>Or 2020 escape into High Fantasy and delicate love stories.<br/>Other characters will feature and the friendships of all. </p><p>22/01/21: "Not One Sunrise More."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Margret Beck &amp; Sabran Berethnet, Sabran Berethnet/Eadaz du Zāla uq-Nāra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Intransigent Fool</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabraneadaz/gifts">sabraneadaz</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicelf/gifts">magicelf</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Still dyslexic - please be gentle with comments.<br/>for sabraneadaz (because the name made me smile and stories have great canon depth and perspective- Maragret and Sabran.)<br/>for magicelf (because of enthusiastic comments and reception after a bad day.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><em> "I realised, that she had been spoon-fed a story from the day she was born. She had been taught no other way to be. And yet, I saw that despite everything, some part of her was self-made. This part, small as it appeared at first, was forged in the fire of her own strength, and resisted her cage. And I understood...that this part was made of steel. The part who she truly was.” </em> <strong>  Ead Duryan - The Priory of the Orange Tree </strong></p><p> </p><p>Ead Duryan is the most persistent of all my ghosts. </p><p> </p><p>By all rights, even my fevered and sick mind should banish her to the distant land she flees to when I needed her most. The Night Hawk is convincing in his assessment of her secrets. The many holes in the fabric of her cover identity whisper in my heart during weak moments when I miss her. Ead is one of many apparitions that haunt the corners of my dark tower as I waste away with only one truth for company. So many people leave me, in the end, Liveelvyn, Glorian, mother only to return in shade form. I will not perform the Oth of Relinquishment and allow Igrain Crest the power of the throne. The spectre of Ead Duryan shouldbe the one to come to me when I am at my sickest. </p><p> </p><p>Consciousness is a fleeting thing that wavers from one moment to the next, but it feels strange to think that this version of the ghost is laughing at me with a peculiar light flicking strongly in the yawning darkness. Igrain long ago forbade light in my new prison, not even the pleading of her grandaughter and heir was enough to sway that the madwoman. Of course, both tormentor and prisoner have the losest grip on sanity, but at least I have enough strength to remember the sacred duty. </p><p> </p><p><strong> "Dam, you intransigent fool. I have crossed the South and the West to get back to you, Sabran Barethnet and you reward me thus?" </strong> the laugher and mockery are achingly familiar. </p><p> </p><p>My world falls apart than in the best way. Ead spends a few moments trying to explain the situation outside the darkness earnestly. My state of undress must fully register because she cradles me tenderly and lingers to me cry and beg for forgiveness for the many sins done in the name of this Queendom. My early religious instruction rebels against seeking absolution from a probable witch, but the words come in a helpless tumble. </p><p> </p><p>"Let's get you warm. There is time enough for explanations later. How dare Igrain lock you away like this, in the dark." Ead sounds ominous even with a gentle whisper. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"A weak queen is a compliant one; her strategy was almost successful." I rasp out as my teeth chatter." </p><p> </p><p>Ead Duryan is many things, but tenderhearted wouldn't be amongst the words I would use to describe her. I spend more time than is wise thinking about ways to describe this woman, even after her supposed betrayal. That desperate night of passion is one of my beloved memories in recent years. Ead is crying as she holds me closer as cradling a small child waking from a nightmare. In a way, that is what I feel like, small and vulnerable. </p><p> </p><p>"You are neither of those things, My Sabran. Loth and I will help you grow strong again and banish the dark. You are not alone anymore." Ead whispers kissing me again. </p><p> </p><p>As if to prove her point Ead brings up her hand and a blazing mage light streams into the room, somehow it is more comforting than frightening. I am too tired to think about how frail and sick I look without the benefit of concealing shadows. Ead doesn't comment merely arranges our limbs, so I am wrapped more securely against her and the heavy blankets. If anybody were so come in now, there would be no explaining such intimacies away. Not that such things matter overly much one half my court may be in the pocket of Igrain and however many of her retrainers. </p><p> </p><p>"Stay..."</p><p> </p><p>I am too weak to move far, but I cling to Ead when she starts to move away from me. Warmth is beginning to enter my bones again, and the bluish tint to my fingers is easing. Her words float somewhere over me for a while. My only focus becomes listening to the steading thudding of her heart. Nothing feels real until the sound echos, banishing the whispers and speculation. Ead rocks me gently giving up on communicating verbally for now. The sounds of battle rage on distantly in the background, neither of us are the centre. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> The Sight of Hope.  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Don't leave me."</p><p> </p><p>The part of me that is my mother's daughter recoils at the desperation in my voice. I haven't needed anybody in this way since I was fourteen and griefing the loss of the only parent I have known. I may not be able to claim some of the great virtues of the queens of legend but nor am I a child desperate for guidance. Igrain miscalculated there. My heart needs Ead Duryan is only for this terrible night. Somehow I feel impossibly warmer with her presence whatever the dark magic be. </p><p> </p><p>"I am only going to find some water and fresh supplies for a bath. I'll only be in the next room. There is plenty of light now you can see me the whole time." Ead replies soothingly running a hand down my cheek. </p><p> </p><p>"Roslain did her best to care for me, despite what her grandmother attempted in the end. I was either too sick or delirious to cooperate." I suddenly shrink down, ashamed. </p><p> </p><p>"You will be well again and ready to banish any darkness. The first priority is to get you warm and in some fresh clothes, are the any wounds I should know about?" Ead says the words like a sacred vow. </p><p> </p><p>"The fever robbed me of appetite, strength and my sanity for a while, but Roslain did not let her grandmother hurt me directly, except when she had no choice." I gesture to the marks at various points. </p><p> </p><p>"She and all her subjects will pay for this, Sabran." Ead hisses touching the worst bruise with care. </p><p> </p><p>"Yes, I will administer Inyish justice. fiercely and swiftness on behalf of the Queendom, Truyde utt Zeedeur and all those caught in the great web." I reply, struggling to sound imperious. </p><p> </p><p>The Ead before me is too worn to be a ghost. Her look was never conventional to the ladies of the court; she was an expert at playing the role of quiet eloquence. This version of Ead has worry lines at the edge of her features, and there is the slightest tremble in her hands as she prepares different objects. There is too much dirt and grim on her clothes to be from a single encounter or battle. No, this Ead Duryan is real for how much that fact is worth to me in current circumstances. I watch Ead obsessively as she makes her way over to me, looking for a sign of magic or trickery, though saints know I am no expert in such things. </p><p> </p><p>"The state of my court must be dire if they let you in here without questioning, the speculation about you did not begin and end with the Dutchy of Justice. Is there wreckage outside these walls to rival the battles of old?" I whisper my throat still burning from screaming and long periods of silence. </p><p> </p><p>"Depends on your point of view of the past, My Queen. The state of your palace is still a matter in dispute, the right side will have the best of it if the Beck siblings have their way. Drink this, please." </p><p> </p><p>Strangely I do not question her as she guides a cup into my hand and helps me swallow whispering words of encouragement. The taste is simply water with a mix of honey and herbs. Less vile than some of the things Igrain forces down my throat in the early days of my fever. Ead's light blazes inconsistently but I can still see the track of silent tears down her cheeks. I reach up and use a shaky hand to brush at them ineffectively. Ead doesn't look away and continues to whisper. </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> The Touch of Hope.  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Ead's touch is different this time. </p><p> </p><p>She does not trust either the state of my legs or the political unrest in the castle. Ead prepares a simple bathing tub free from the demands of the full royal treatment. There may be witchcraft in the way she sources the hot water, but my former lady in waiting possess many practical skills that a queen will find baffling. A part of me longs to call for Roslain my only comfort in these many months, but she suffers equally if not more torment than I at the hands of her kin. Besides, it will not be long before demands are pulling Ead and me apart again. </p><p> </p><p>"Esay now, lean on me as much as you need." Ead says, bracing me around the waist. </p><p> </p><p>Ead lowers me into the small bath that is barely big enough for somebody of my full height. The water is thoughtfully not too hot as to shock my limbs aching with cold. For somebody likely here by deception, Ead Duryan knows her duties well, even under such trying circumstances. She gently lathers the tangles in my long hair and sets about untangling them. Her next task is to wash my body, scraping away weeks with of stench. </p><p> </p><p>"I have been sick for weeks. Speculation is rife that I have the childbearing sickness that is common to so many before, would that it were that simple." I lean against the sides of the bath. </p><p> </p><p>"You can set the rumours to rest soon enough, Sabran. Your people will not begrudge you such a loss in the face of your resistance to bloody treason. For the next hours and days focus on rebuilding, that starts with your health. There are good and loyal people who will be at your side in the task." Ead gently runs and brush through her hair. </p><p> </p><p>"Is there any way of knowing if you are either of those virtues, Ead Duryan, whatever your pretty words at my time of greatest need?" I ask, looking at her in the flickering light. </p><p> </p><p>"You can not know me as a queen knows her lady and the traditions of courtly virtues, but my loyalty to you is true and without measure." Ead replies, holding my look even as she rinses the cloth. </p><p> </p><p>"How many measuring sticks for trust and connection do you think a Queen of Inys has available to her, Mistress Duryan, if that is even your name?" I reply bitterly. </p><p> </p><p>"The same is true somebody in my role, Sabran. Let me serve you in this way one last time. The answers will come in good time, before witnesses and with Loth to add his tale to the mix." Ead pauses her attentions to wait for an answer.</p><p> </p><p>"Few can demand such liberties, but at least I do not believe you implicit in this particular brand of treachery. Igrain is too prideful and vain to make an ally of founding from the South with no direct ties to Virtudom." I concede tilting my head back. </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> The Taste of Hope.  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>My appetite has always been a fickle thing. </p><p> </p><p>Ead is not the first of my companions to despair of my health in this way. She is the first to try and force-feed me while battling wages for the very soul of my Queendom. I feel moderately revived by bathing and the sheer intimacy with somebody I thought lost to me. However, Ead only lets me test the theory when helping me hobble to the receiving room and my most comfortable chair. When I protest about being idle why my people need me Ead points out that they need me alive and in full health more. She raids the supplies of light food and snacks Rosalind keeps on hand to try and tempt my senses. </p><p> </p><p>"We will not have you wasting away before the final battle with the Nameless One, don't you dare start talking about being barren and of no use. Our world needs more than mothers, even the great dynasties like Berethnet." Ead says in an unwavering tone. </p><p> </p><p>She sets a few platers in front of me on the low table. There is also a steaming broth which is the only thing I can keep down reliably. Ead sits down and pulls me close before cradling the bowl in front of me. I resist the temptation to protest that she is not feeding a fussy child, but my limbs are still weak and uncooperative. If she is a witch weaving a dark spell, she is making a mistake giving me the tools to regain my strength again. </p><p> </p><p>"You should not talk so freely of matters you do not understand. The dynastic integrity of Inys and the fate of the world's peoples is nothing to trivialise or scorn, even for one how beliefs herself apart from them. There is no security or safety without a clear line of sucession." I insist before swallowing again. </p><p> </p><p>"We can continue this history lesson when you have eaten a full meal and rested for an hour or two. Those wounds on your wrists and arms need tending." Ead deflects my comment neatly with an offering of the fruit.</p><p> </p><p>"Time is a fickle thing without the usual signs to rely on, I cannot even tell you how long I was confined here between the sickness and Igrain's imprisonment, it was so dark, and I was so scared to both sleep and wake. Monsters were waiting in either state, Ead." </p><p> </p><p>"There will be light and strength in the morning, Sabran. You are one of the strongest and most resilient fools I know. Please eat some more." Ead coaxes. </p><p> </p><p>"It will be Mid Winter soon; my insides roil at the thought of rich game meats and an array of sugars and spice. The people must see their queen at a time like this. She needs to guide without or without the comfort of an heir in her arms. </p><p> </p><p>"Eat, you are you and healthy, despite the periods of long idleness. The Barethnet constitution will serve you will in moments like this, few would survive to this point."</p><p> </p><p>I do as she commands grazing the food with little to no enthusiasm to keep her happy. Ead effortless mixes my favourites and small preferences that only a dutiful lady servant would know or care about, the best bit of cheese or the type of grape. She may be an effective spy, but what value is there in learning how to steeple tea to just the right temperature, poison perhaps? The conspirators already tried that and Sabran the IX proves surprisingly hard to kill, despite the long isolation and reclusiveness. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>
  <strong> The Sound of Hope.  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Will you tell me what happened when I went away?" </p><p> </p><p>Ead says the words softly, but I still feel myself stiffen in anger. She makes it seem like she left on an errand rather than fleeing in the night. My bed still feels hollow after waking up without her. The Night Hawk did not need to work hard to fosters doubts. My mind was already racing with possibilities and terrors. There is a reason I was so obsessed with eternal youth and the workings of the alchemist. The idea of intimacy was truly terrifying. </p><p> </p><p>"Will you tell me endless lies about where you have been? Will you disappear into the night without a word again, with nothing but rumors and gossip in your woke." I am well enough for my tone to sound imperious. </p><p> </p><p>"I did not leave you of my own free will. Returning you has been and will remain my greatest desire. We do not have time for me to weave the tale. The truth will tack far longer than the false counterpart." Ead says calmly.</p><p> </p><p>I am too weak for a true argument, and Ead main focus seems to be making me comfortable with a large number of fresh blankets and a roaring fire in the grate, generating both heat and light. We are huddling together and our faces light in the soft glow. Many of my pleasant dreams revolve around this concept, not with so many secrets between us. My eyes are heavy with sleep, but I want to hear as much of this conversion and confession as possible. The Night Hawk's lessons are not entirely lost on me even as a young girl. The more accurate knowledge I have, the greater my power. </p><p> </p><p>"Stay with me for awhile, at let me sleep without nightmares?" I ask, instead of answering. </p><p> </p><p>"I will tend those wounds for so you may be more comfortable in bed. There will be plenty of light and warmth to banish the shadows. You need not fear this place anymore." Ead replies, taking my hand a letting me back to the bedroom. </p><p> </p><p>Both of our hopes are likely nieve. Many of my current nightmares feature Ead in a staring role, and there is no guarantee that my saviours will triumph in the end. Igrain may have allies in the courtiers that fled the scene not long after my fever. My heart still beats in foolish hope at the idea. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>
  <strong> The Smell of Hope.  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Duty will call me again in a few hours. </p><p> </p><p>Igrain Crest and her retainers did me one favour in their coup attempt. My public close on the heels of the fevers means that people believe me near death. I can put my faith in Meg, Loth and my most loyal Knights of the Body to put the world to rights again. Any queen, with the possible exception of my daughter's namesake, are of limited use in direct conflict. Ead is insisting I stay in the room while she tends the minor scratches on my wrists. </p><p> </p><p>I swoon in her proximity and the little details that are coming back to me now that my mind is clearer. There is a distinctive smell that Ead can claim as her own. To my knowledge, she wears no perfumes unless Meg forces her to for a court occasion. Sometimes I would catch a hint of the odour even though there was no breeze in the slowly stagnating tower. My impertinent hunger for such details wasn't something that stuck me with Lievelyn or any of the other courtiers male or female. </p><p> </p><p>"These are minor, but that need more skilled hands before you address the court, there is no need to start tongues moving any more than they will already." Ead instructs wiping my wrist gently. </p><p> </p><p>"The lack of a new daughter for the House of Berethnet will guarantee such speculations. The state of my wrists will be of no consequence." I point out grimly </p><p> </p><p>"As wonderful as your Glorian would have been, her loss and the loss of future children does not singularly define you." </p><p> </p><p>I bite my tongue to keep from making another caustic comment. Neither of us has the energy to go round in such circles again. Ead will submit to my interrogation in the morning, willingly or not. At this moment, all I focus on is her closeness and the heady mixture of healing herbs in the air. My body already feels less traitorous under her careful attention. I don't feel like it will collapse at any moment under the pressure of day or night. If there is magic in it, this will be a useful kind. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>"May we come in, My Queen?"</p><p> </p><p>This voice is barely a whisper, but I am awake enough to catch the request and recognise Margaret Beck's cadence. For somebody so weak and sick, I am now too sharp to sleep fully. Ead is dosing beside me, having fallen to exhaustion. Perhaps her magic working took more than it seemed at the time. I suspect her claim of crossing oceans to reach me is no idle boast of a hopeful suitor. If I asked her she would recount every league, which may happen in the morning hours. </p><p> </p><p>"Meet me in the outer chamber." I instruct them keeping my voice firm. </p><p> </p><p>People who are with either of the Beck siblings than I can trust them implicitly. Still, there is no sense in people coming across Ead in my bed in the ways of a lover and not a Lady of the Beachcomber. There is nothing scandalous about our appearance, but if anybody can tell the difference, it would be the other ladies. There are enough scandal and speculation without adding fuel to that particular fire. I may adore Ead with a helpless passion, but I am not ready for such a conversation. </p><p> </p><p>I am steady enough on my feet to make slow progress through the room. Those of my most intimate acquaintance will foregive my wild looks even if it rankles at queenly pride. Ead assures me that my countenance improves greatly with bathing, tending and clean clothes. I suspect that Mistress Durayn may be blind with the infatuation of love and tender feelings. We may not be brave enough yet so say the words out loud. My blood still churns with immense anger. However, we give ourselves away with looks and touches. Any spymasters would despair at the lack of suitability. </p><p> </p><p>"Oh Sabran, my queen, it is so wonderful to see up and about again. These days banished from your side has been the worst form of torture."</p><p> </p><p>Margaret Beck is the product of her formidable mother's teaching and expectations. Even in times like these, she will not break with protocol. It is up to me to bridge the gap between us just this once. She will be the next Lady of the Bedchambor. The promotion is long overdue, especially now that Ead will need a new place in court and my life. I pull her to me for a brief embrace. Kate and Roslain are behind her. Roslain is leaning heavily on her taller companion. </p><p> </p><p>"Ead was planning on tearing the place to its foundations if it meant getting to you. I see she succeeded in the first of her missions, there is some colour in your cheeks, and you aren't so incredibly cold." Meg says, grasping my hands worriedly. </p><p> </p><p>"Ead has been tending me with care and devotion, if not the traditional means of a lady in waiting. I will need proper dressing in the morning as well as preparations for the feast."</p><p> </p><p>My words are admission, statement and command in one, of my ladies and the woman of the court. These three are likely to know and understand the implications. I am not the first queen to seek solace in such a way, but there is still a risk, especially because I am still on the throne.</p><p> </p><p>"You have a right to whatever comfort, Ead or anyone else can offer you. Our loyalty always and will remain with you. Whatever lies the soon to be former Dutchess of Justice spun in your ear in the dark." Meg vows as the others nod. </p><p> </p><p>"My grandmother was more intent on games of the mind that causing our queen physical harm, though the two evils feed of each other readily enough." Roslain says still in great pain; she forced herself to come doubtless against healers objections. </p><p> </p><p>"Are you well?" I ask slowly gesturing to the Bone Settler's work. </p><p> </p><p>"I will heal, Your Majesty." she says with great formality. </p><p> </p><p>"As will I and the Queendon we love so well."</p><p> </p><p>The declaration is premature; there is still far too much work ahead of us and too little time. The shadow of the Nameless One and the Flesh King hang heavily over in the air. There are traitors inside and out. However, like my ancestors, I will find the resolve to fight with these people at my side come what way. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Not One Sunrise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's been a heck of a week in terms of geopolitical news. Writing is my escape and happy place. Stay safe my AO3 mates.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"<strong>Ten years and not one sunrise more." </strong></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The vast expanse of such time is heart breaking to consider even in the abstract of the quiet room we share. However, for all the vast power and knowledge Eadaz du Zāla uq-Nāra wields, she cannot bend an inescapable reality. We are both creatures of duty, with few other guiding principles. Neither of us could conceive of building a life together, free of the court's oppressive judgment with so many things still to achieve. Love and burning passion can only fill so many places in the darkness of the mind and soul. Our relationship, even before this connection, defines itself by a series of partings. The real pain is that now I know precisely what I am losing by allowing this woman to walk away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"There is much unrest and despair in the South, the subject of such divided loyalties. If I am to assume the duties of Prioress with any effectiveness must be a priority." there is a broken crack in her voice that mirrors my heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You still have duties here, Lady Nurtha. For one, I believe my newest Lady of the Bedchamber would skin you alive if you did not fulfil your sworn duty at her wedding. It would also be you who would be explaining a delay of a decade to Lady Anis of Goldbirch. That would not be a task I would wish on anyone, even a great mage of the South with a mystical orange tree. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I will remain for the wedding of Meg and her Lintley; nothing would give me greater pleasure as a friend and former companion. I am not so foolish as to go up against the will of mighty Goldbirch. Such a delay will also give us time to discuss the logistics of our parting." Ead leans down and kisses me again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There fierce sorrow of parting is tempered by knowing we are making a commitment to each other that is strong enough to withstand our many separations. There is also a profound luxury in the knowledge that I am not snatching time with a bed mate before the political marriage. Those who care to pay attention to my night affairs will know that Ead is far more than that to me, and I am willing to so as publicly as queen is able. The Virtues Council and I are building a new Innys, but there are still some expectations. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I intend to take full advantage of the time remaining to us. I expect to retrain the majority of your time and attention that is not subject to wedding festivities." my efforts to sound commanding melt under Ead's eager kisses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You say that as if my attention can reside elsewhere, Sabran Berethnet. Many hardships came with being your lady; such singular focus was not one of them." Ead confesses as began trailing kisses down my neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My body falls into the rhythm of such passions. The healers are delighted with my recovery, Both from the illness of childhood and the recent imprisonment. The last of the Berethnet line may be barren, but she is stronger and robust, within the endless belts of melancholy or cold. However, there is a subtle shift in wellness that comes from embracing physical pleasure with another. The sweat that soon dams my skin is healthy and my hands are strong as I direct Ead to where I want her most. I wager my eyes are bright and more lively than in the procession of professional portraits that litter the halls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Did your inclinations always lie this way, Ead?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We are lying together in my bed-chamber. Our intimacy is on display to anybody who wishes to observe us. I feel spent but sated at the same time. My hair is a long tangled mess that would shame generations of Ladies and companions, who work so hard to tame it. Even though I feel better than I have since girlhood, Ead insists that we break for refreshments and water. The woman who will soon be Prioress looks nothing like her predecessors, with scratches, marks and a tangled mass of clothing. I take a certain pride in knowing that the effect we have on each other is mutually destructive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The inclination towards women, you mean? Having attraction of any sort remained an abstract concept until coming to court. My every focus was on the work of the Red Sisters and reaching the goals." Ead confesses burying herself further into the covers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You seems rather...talented at such things, of knowing how to coax desire in the way books speak of..." my comment sounds hopeless clumsy and awkward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If you are asking whether others have shared my bed. It depends on how you qualify such things, I suppose. There were a few fumbling touches in the dark. Nothing measures to the connection we share, Sabhran." Ead says softly before leaning to kiss my cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Enough to sustain us through the next ten years of a particular kind of solitude." I agree while trying to keep my voice resolute and prevent the crack </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That is my fondest hope in this new world of ours." Ead agrees, letting a tear trail down her cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Preparations </span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I owe you my profound gratitude for guaranteeing the happiness of my daughter, Your Majesty. Ensuring that Goldbirch will continue our tradition of most secure and happy marriages, even if a few are unconventional." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Annes Beck is a tall and intimidating woman who remains steadfast against the difficult hand fate dealt her. Running such a vast estate while caring for a husband who is so unwell cannot be easy. Annes was always one of my mothers' most trusted companions, reflecting the queendom's great trust in one of their closest allies. I have fond memories of her taking care of me when I was a child before everything becomes blurry with grief and isolation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I can assure you, Lady Beck everything bestowed on your future son in law was the least of the honours Lintley deserves for defending the court so well. It gladdens me to think of my friend finding her place both as a wife and a leading figure in court. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lady Annes Beck has never regretted retreating from court to care for her ailing husband and vast estate to the best of my knowledge. Her children serve ably in her stead. My mother's assassination was deeply traumatising for all her ladies, especially with Igrain spreading lies and mistruth. Still, Annes is a loss to a noble society as a whole. She commands every room that she enters and deftly navigates the egos and scandal within competing factions. It is a thing of beauty to work her work, even within the relatively small confines of planning a wedding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You oversimply matters for the sake of diplomacy and the fear of my famous temper. Still, you offer Goldbirch a wonderous gift. If the crown should need an ally, you find one in our lands, as it has always been." Meg's mother insists her voice steely with conviction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Your services and skills will assist us greatly in the coming months and years. The line of Berethnet will end with me, while people adore as a saver, such feelings cannot last forever. A new style of government will challenge the very foundations of their lives." I confess before taking a careful sip of tea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If my idealistic and fortunate son can reconcile his crisis of faith than the ever-practical smallfolk will make the adjustment better than you may think. The new Virtues Council is a strong one. Roslin and Loth will provide strong foundations." Annes says confidently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I pray to whatever deities may still be listening that you are right. I do not have the stomach for the productive revolution that some of my forebears claim, Glorian Sheildheart. There is much that this requires temperament and training." it is slowly getting easier to confess such things outside my head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You speak of your former self as a young woman, grieving the loss of her mother with few support structures around you. Such a person is not the woman I see before me, and I speak of more than the Nameless One's defeat. This incarnation of the court faces more challenges than many in history." Annes challenges with a particular look in her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Patterns </span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You are enjoying this far too much." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ead makes the complaint from her position on top of the tailor's stool. My initial desire would be to take Ead out into the market. The smallfolk and the court were with me during the feast. The battle and peace accords with the Emperor heighten my status. However, I do not wish to lose the connection and wisdom learned from my consort who did not have enough time to grow into a lifelong companion. If I plan to leave my people in the next ten years, my leave-taking must be from a position of strength. I will not be the reclusive young woman in mourning for the rest of my time. The people will know me as a strong queen in peace, not just the Nameless One defeat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, the palace security will not allow me to leave in grounds for an extended period while finding dresses for my companions. Part of me wants to argue, but those around me seem resolute. I do not wish to concerns about the queen's safety to detract away from more important business at hand. Goldbirch is single handily revitalising the second by employing only small, family merchants and tailors to source their wares. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It was you who insisted that I stay within the bounds of the palace grounds today, I am merely doing as instructed." I keep my tone deliberately submissive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You are exacting most peculiar revenge, Your Majesty. I do not recall other members of the wedding procession requiring such long hours and personal fittings." Ead is openly teasing me now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Meg and Lintley are both long servicing members of this court. Therefore most of their closest companions are fluent in the language of etiquette and costuming, almost to the standard that Lady Annes expects. You require special attention, least you perform your duties with caches of concealed weapons." I lecture her mockingly while circling the station, watching the fall of the fabric. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't let it get back to the Virtues Council that this is how you are spending your time. There is paperwork multiplying on your desk as we speak." Ead warns with a laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In truth, there is letting that needs adjusting. My lover may lack refinement or training, but youth and beauty hide many sins. It was one of the many reasons I become so obsessive about the potions of youth. An immortally young queen can escape the harsh judgements. Meg and her mother reach a point of compromise on the colour scheme and patterning. The teams of tailors have done a wonderful job in bringing Lady Nurtha to life.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You speak as half the palace isn't caught up in similar pursuits. "The Wedding' is practically the sole extent of my official calendar," I reply while tucking critically at a sleave and feeling its weight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I do hope they do not occupy themselves with quite the same activities." Ead says betraying a mischievous smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly without warning, she hops down off the stool. She may be in fancy clothing, but she is still agile and frightening quick before I can gain my bearings or question such a decision. Ead sweeps me into her arms and something of an impromptu dance. I am soon breathless with both joy and laughter. Such sounds have long been foreign to this palace, before my mother's unhappy marriage and eventual death. I hope and pray distantly that she is proud of me and how we are shaping her realm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You, Sabhran Berethnet are the reason my soul sings, even in the darkness times." Ead declares with an uncharacteristic grandness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And you, Eadaz du Zāla uq-Nāra are like my Love Jays, a wanderer who will always return to me." I return with as much solemnity as I did my first wedding union </span>
</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Particulars. </span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tell me again why Lintley and I cannot find the nearest willing officiant and be done with it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meg makes the complaint as we finish a light lunch between a seemingly endless list of wedding preparations. Lady Beck is in charge of all the trials and is still arguing with her daughter about what colour schemes will suit her best. There is a rather intense debate about the latest fashions in court and whether white will be flattering or too stark. Beck is wisely agreeing to any expense and spending plenty of time with his father, coaxing him to rare moments of lucidity. Lintley takes his new role seriously and spends his time learning his new lands and duties; the Becks recognise the value of true merit and work not to judge his humble origins. The aristocratic bloodline is getting thinner by the generation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If the Council is to reshape itself away from the lineage of a single line. Goldbirch is crucial in cementing those plans, as it has been for generations. Lady Annes's favour is a hard enough thing to command I am not jeopardising the standing." I say calmly giving her an encouraging smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What our beloved sovereign is trying to say is that she is afraid of your mother and will not incur her wrath for love or friendship. The man of your heart for the wedding of your mother's dreams seems like a fair trade to me. Not that a woman who spent her formidable years in a monastic life can truly judge such things." Ead teases as seeks to raise my temper for amusement's sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I do not entirely disagree with Lady Nurtha's assessment of the situation, Meg." I shrug helplessly before watching her scowl at me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So when are you and Ead going to enact the most sensible second union of your namesake, Sabhran VII and her beloved Brilda Glade. There is plenty to be such for such an arrangement. It would almost be welcome with Ead's status as a mythical hero." Meg asks her words, turning into an obvious question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know that the two circumstances are entirely without comparison. Many years will pass before we can find our somewhere. Duty will come before all." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yet will remain equally steadfast." Ead injects with a sad but tender smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Poetry </span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>" Perhaps I will have time to read in between my duties. There is much that interests me beyond the strategising tomes of Chasser. Sitting around in the court with your ladies must influence me, Sabran." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ead observes as she watches me search through the numerous volumes within the palace library. The structure is magnificent and successive queens (even the spendthrift ones) put aside generous amounts to maintain its upkeep. In particular, my mother was most fond of spending time here, or perhaps she was trying to find excuses to stay away from my father. I am looking for a particular book to give Lintley a wedding gift, explaining his new land and history. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I expect better communication than was on display during your journeys. I know little of the Priory workings, but much of the role involves diplomacy and administration, does it not?" I ask keeping my attention on the books. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That is the great hope of peacetime; there is much rebuilding to do after corruption and rot at the core. The priory needs to regain a sense of identity now that the world is rebuilding itself without the major divisions." Ead agrees, coming up to stand beside me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Will you be in danger?" I ask, trying to catch her eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This new world presents fewer dangers than the old. I do believe that the overture of the Red Damsels is genuine. We will rebuild the foundations of the priory together. However, I will fill pages with massifs about such adventures. The sand eagles will tire of traversing the distance. There will be a shorter of that fine thick paper you love so much." Ead leans and kisses soft and light; the way consort might after long years of marriage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"As one head of state to another. The mantel of true leadership is heavy. Do not make overt promises, lest I be disappointed." I turn and lean in for a more passionate kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am a person of means and strategy. There will be a way to stay true to my word. You will have good, true companions during the day, under expert stewardship. I can only hope that my words will keep you company at night. We have the luxury to learn each other truly now, as you once asked for after the candle dance if anybody is to know the dark recesses of my strange soul than I want it to be you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>Practice </span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I envy them, you know, not for the marriage, but something more abstract. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It still feels strange to have somebody I can willingly share my thoughts with, no matter how undiplomatic or trivial. The Night Hawk is no longer dissecting my words for every possible mistake. The influence of the last queen of Innys is both at its hight and more of an abstract concept. There is no longer a fever pitch of waiting for me to marry, produce and heir or fulfil the prophecy. The people care about the harvest, whether the health of the city, water supplies. The priority is returning the queendom to its natural healthy cycles. The children have enough to eat, and there is enough coin to see us through any major calamities. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In practice, I have temporarily given control of my palace to the Lady Annes, who is finally getting the chance to build the wedding spectacle of her dreams. There will be two services, a private one of the grounds of Goldenbirch and this display. Meg and her future husband are popular court members in their own right, without my favour. The rhetoric of forbidden love is enchanting everyone. The truth of the matter is that almost all heartily favour the union, but never let the fact get in the way of a good story. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"There is plenty to envy about seeing two people so deliriously happy." Ead agrees without looking up from her book. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No cynical remarks or quips about the younger members of court wasting coin and time on finding the perfect dress they will only where once?" I tease her knowingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"There remains a certain luxury in having a court and people who have the liberty and peace to concern themselves with such things. Besides, Meg and her Lintley will make fine and generous landowners." Ead offers the commentary with a grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know it is not the title you seek but I want you to see, you are worthy of being at my side as the queen's consort. Just as Lintley is winning over the court is his new role." it suddenly feels important to get this point across. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ead looks at me a long moment before replying. Her features a set in an unreadable mask. Even without makeup and dressing in her beloved 'practical garments' she still makes my pulse quicken. Some of the less charitable nobles decry the queen losing her heart to a landless founding without even above average looks to recommend her. I cannot defend her too ardently in public, but we have a secret language that restates our equality. Nobody looks at me quite so directly or openly. The notion that I believed such tenuous credentials is still laughable. The Night Hawk was right about that oversight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, I am not Sabran. Chassar uq-Ispad did a creditable job in building Ead Duryan into the Ambassador's protege. Still, I fit no more seamlessly in this place than the ichneumon, mythical and magical but a spectacle nevertheless. If this land is to move away from the toxic religious fervour of Sir Galian and Kalyba than you do not need the interference of the old magic." Ead disagrees her face a picture of genuine sorrow for a second. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know many would find flattery in such words of devotion from a queen, even a barren and reclusive one." I say peevishly my queen's pride and ego rising to the surface. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ead moves over to me and knees at my side as if in supplication. However, there is nothing submissive about the way she gazes at me. Our hands tangle as if of their own accord. I want to stay angry and put out but having such easy affection is too precious to squander. Our time together is drawing to an end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Your words profoundly honour me. Sabhan, I am not good with court words that do not pretend. I believe myself to be entirely worthy of the woman you will become when we find our somewhere together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I will leave at dawn tomorrow." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eadaz du Zāla uq-Nāra is a cruel but effective tactician, even in the heady aftermath of the wedding that will keep talking for weeks and months to come. She knows that I am sleepy with the mixture of festive foods, fresh from neighbouring farms, and dancing. Even back in my private chambers (more strictly enforced now I have a lover), the air is still thick with the smell of spiced wine and candles. The sounds of dancing and merriment echo in the halls. Meg is leading her friends and family in celebration. The odds are high that more than one of my inner circle will receive an offer before the night ends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You practice a clever deception on my court tonight, Lady Nurstha. For I do not believe you drunk or ate half as much as it appeared, even during the rounds of toasting." I accuse my tone somewhere between bitterness and amusement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For all her many complaints about court clothing, Ead did not disappoint tonight. She looks every bit the noble, in the long flowing dress, with intricate designs that match the height of current style. The mixture of white and edgings of colour set off her complexation perfectly. Somewhere along the way Roslain or one of the others convinces her to use small amounts of makeup and powders. It is almost a shame how eager I am to mess with all their hard work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"A court in high merriment and with much to celebrate is a place that is by definition, an easy target. The enemies of Innys did not disappear entirely into the abyss. The Knights of the Body are on light rotation. Who better to take the mantle of sobriety than a mage of the South?" Ead explains walking over to meet me in the middle of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't act so noble. Such as a state is all the better to sneak down the ivy vines, when you scurry away like a thief in the night?" A queen shouldn't sound like a jilted consort, but in a way, that term precisely reflects the situation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Perhaps but not for the reasons you think. My chances of sneaking anywhere are next to impossible with the improvements in progress under the new Lord Morwe and his soldiers, as it should be." Ead declares approvingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before I can summon a suitable retort, Ead does something entirely unexpected. She begins the process of undressing me, finding the hocks in the many layers of fabric. There is little intimate or passionate about the move, as my mind may conjure. The queen must dress in a manner befitting the wedding of one of the queendom's closest ally in nobility ranks. The gown is thick, heavy and impractical, it pinches my waist and restricts all but the most stately, queenly movements. The older and more conservative members of the court will approve. Ead is slow and methodical, avoiding pulling or tearing at any of the delicate thread. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Our parting will remain equally painful if I leave now or wait till the next heirs of Morwe are born. My resolve weakens and crumples with every passing second, but it cannot break. In a way, we are similar, shepherds of a new era for the people we serve. All the excuses and justification will only be delaying the inevitable. Perhaps we as lazy and indulgent as Tane claims but the duty is inescapable." Ead whispers as she gently folds the first layer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I haven't had time to fully prepare the court. Many still perceive you as a traitor, unfit to darken these doorways." I protest weakly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Several lifetimes will not be enough to stop the gossips from speculating. Let me leave, my love. We will begin our sunrises of waiting; the pain will be sharp and quick." Ead whispers as she leads me towards the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Give me a few more hours, and I agree with your proclamation." my words are sleepy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There will be no grand passions tonight. Both of us are too weary from the activities in the last few weeks. I am slightly drunk on both wine and emotion. Ead cradles and speaks words of nonsense and affection. We wait for the dawn together, the time moving both too fast and achingly slowly. The vows we whisper that night will have no witnesses, but they ate no less important. </span>
</p><p> </p>
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